Hey. My name is Harry, and I have no idea what I’m doing writing a blog. I tend to not know what I’m doing in everyday life either, so I guess this terrifying existential dread has a certain familiarity to it, but it does feel weird to just plant my flag on this tiny corner of the Internet and proclaim it Mine. This is My Blog. I own it. You want to write a comment? Fine, but I can delete it AT WILL. I have staked my claim to these green and fertile pixels, I have undergone the ancient test of Finding An Unused Domain Name That Isn’t Dumb As Fuck, and I have been deemed worthy by the WordPress gods. Now I am the undisputed dictator within the land known as Ink and Trickery, and none may question my authority within these borders. These tiny, tiny borders.
What are you even meant to do when you “have” a blog? I guess I’m here to – what – market my writing ability? Peddle my opinions? Do what I seem to do on my Twitter, which is to shout meaninglessly into a gaping void? All of the above?
I’m fairly sure that this is a self-destructive route to go down. This is my blog, there are many like it but this is mine, and what I’m going to do here is talk about the things that interest me and, most likely, irritate me. This is going to be a wholly self-indulgent exercise, which feels weird because I write a lot of essays and a lot of stories, and in both I constantly think about the target audience. I’m constantly wondering if the person reading will understand the point I’m making, or whether I need to go back and make things more clear – or maybe I’m trying too hard to make things clear, and patronizing them! I wonder how character x will seem to the reader – I want them to be snarky and caustic but ultimately likeable, but what if they just come across as a detestable douchebag?
This blog isn’t the place for that. Ink and Trickery is going to be a wholesale exercise in self-indulgence, and hopefully it’ll be entertaining for others along the way – but that’s merely a neat by-product. This blog is for me, and if that means I’m shouting into the void, so be it. At least here, unlike when I’m on Twitter, I’ll have room to shout into the void at length.
On the off-chance someone is actually reading this, though, here’s 5 things you probably ought to know about me:
1) I go to Oxford University, but I’m in my final year. Assuming this thing is still active, expect a lot of gibbering anxiety about employment in 3-4 months.
2) My degree is English Literature. Hence both the wanky self-analysis and the aforementioned employment-related gibbering anxiety.
3) To paraphrase Pratchett, I think that creative writing is the most fun it’s possible to have on your own. I’ve wanted to be a published author since I learned to write (note: if you think I’m exaggerating, I can show you the multi-page illustrated storybooks I wrote when I was 3 years old). Maybe some of this blog will focus on that. Maybe not!
4) I started this blog because I received an erroneous package from Amazon which turned out to be comedy gold. I decided a blog would be the perfect place to share my bemusement with the world.
5) I am basically a cultural omnivore. I will happily watch, read, or play pretty much any form of entertainment. There are two exceptions – when it comes to music, even I am forced to acknowledge that I have incredibly bad taste. A good 50% of the music on my iPod comes from movie trailers. I also have no idea about the sports. I have been known to enjoy playing the sports, but I have never been able to enjoy watching them, apart from occasionally tennis I guess. So yeah, this will not be a sports blog, and if I talk about music, know that I speak from a position of profound ignorance.
So enjoy reading my blog, I guess. If you’re wondering about the name – the non-pretentious answer is, I chose it because it sounds cool. The pretentious answer is I chose it because I’m a writer, this is my blog where I write stuff, and all writing is – essentially – an exercise in trickery.